Ponderings

*warning: full of rambling* ;)

All this time I've been trying to catch up on my blog, I've been pondering many things. It has been a difficult month and yet such a joyous one at the same time.  I have fallen in love with our new church family at All Nations. I LOVE being back in a church that truly is family. I think churches like this one are hard to come by and are just so very valuable to the soul. This is what church is supposed to be.  I love that we can dive in with everything we have and no one thinks twice, we are just completely welcomed to come alongside them in everything they we are doing. LOVE.

Back in July... man how time flies!!!... I had the privilege of bringing my now friend, Maysam, and her three kids to our kids' camp at church one Thursday. Maysam and her family are Muslim and are refugees  from Iraq. Their story is quite incredible and I have every bit of faith that God is going to use it for His glory! I can not wait for the day when they come to believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior!  I am learning soo much about people like them and it has really overwhelmed my heart, mind, and soul.  How badly they need the grace and love of Jesus Christ!! 

Just a few weeks later, Gordon called me out of the blue to tell me that a critical fill position was open in Corpus Christi. For those of you who might not know, CC is home for us and is where most of our family lives.  What an opportunity, and yet, I felt so incredibly torn. How could we leave here when it seems like we are just getting started in the amazing opportunities at All Nations?? I felt so sad to leave our friends here 9 months early.  It was a very long two weeks of uncertainty (it didn't pan out this time but we will still be moving this coming June).  

Then, two weeks ago, my generous friends here graciously met up with me for a blanket making party to help send blankets to Ethiopia with Apryl at Not Quite Done who happens to be my friend Danica's sister :)  We are seriously blessed with some great friends here who jump at the opportunity to help out. Proud and thankful doesn't begin to describe my love for them.

The following Monday, I had the opportunity to take another now friend to the doctor. I really had no idea what I was in for. I just thought I was playing taxi cab for the morning, but boy did God have more in mind!!  Suffice it to say God has put the mission field in our backyard here in Mobile! 

I know those all seem a little random but God has used these things to really pound out some things in my heart these past few weeks.  The needs of the people in this world are simply overwhelming, as is the prosperity in America.  We have so much and yet most of the world has nearly nothing. Why are we ok with that? Because they're not American?!? That is absurd. Where is that in the Bible?  It is frightening just how much Satan has infiltrated the American church. Seriously.  With the world wide orphan crisis, the insane number of refugees across the world, the tragic famine/drought in Africa, the seemingly back to back natural disasters, where is the church? Sure, there are some truly reaching out but they are few. Where is the church?  

As the church, what can we do? How on earth can we possibly make a difference in such a time as this? How can I spend $2 on a package of cookies that we certainly don't need when that $2 could feed a family for a week in some third world country? How does that not even occur to me when I'm at the store? 

Where is the balance ...or should we even strive for balance? There are so many things that I want to do and so many organizations that I want to help support but when have we done "enough"?  Sure, there is only so much we can do, but how is it ok that we spend even just $8 a month for Netflix when people are dying because they can't afford food or clean water? How can we justify such luxuries when we could be spending that money to save someone's life and have the opportunity to share Christ with them?

Now, please know that I'm not really looking for answers from you, I'm just trying to work it out in my heart and before the throne of God, blogging is just a good way to organize my thoughts. I truly believe this is something we should all struggle with. The struggle should never go away.  I know that God does not call us to solve these problems by ourselves but how can we claim to follow Him and strive after a heart like His if we don't even want to solve these problems? I mean the true kind of want, not the casual "yeah, yeah I'll drop a 20 in the plate if I don't have to listen to your rant anymore" kind.

Scriptures to Ponder:

Mark 14:7 "The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me."  Jesus still comes first!

Matthew 25:31-46 Which side will you be on in eternity?? Really read and ponder this! v40"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

As I've been mulling over all of this, I've really been crying out to God in frustration and in my feelings of inadequacy (to effect real change).  The other day when I was returning to this same place in my thoughts before God, He brought the parable of the lost sheep to mind. Here it is in case you need a refresher: 

Matthew 18:12-14

¹² “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? ¹³ And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. ¹⁴ In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

What he told me that day was to not be overwhelmed by the big picture but to do everything I possibly can for the one that He's put in front of me. I still think, though, that we need to pray that He will give us humility, discernment, and a soft heart to recognize the ones we should reach and what we can do to help. Where are we indulging too much on ourselves?  If the sacrifices that God accepts are "a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart" (Ps 51:17) shouldn't we be a little more torn about all this?